Homulus Saphienus Audiophilius Humane (a Humorous Approach to Audiophile Mania)


It’s a kind of destroyed quadruped which survives in a universe for some-more afterwards fifty years.

 

Made of a singular sex only. Due to womanlike kinds have been not available, it can not grow by we do sex. He keeps up their era by bursting identical to amoebas.

 

He has a special process to keep up his generation. He finds an undeveloped footman as great as becomes a great confidant to him. He afterwards sells all his crap equipments to him. If he is satisfactory enough, great equipments might be purchased with great prices. If not, a really pleasing trade eventuality occurs as great as all a second palm crap was sole by twice of a marketplace price.

 

These exchange have been called as pushing actions or violence actions around a multitude of Homulus saphienus audiophilius benevolent

 

When a undeveloped footman becomes prepared in time, he realises a inlet of motorist actions. He froze a attribute with his favourite as great as tries to find out a footman for himself. So, their race keeps up growing.

 

Due to a actuality above, really upsetting Homulus saphienus audiophilius benevolent criticizes his former footman in each height even with his grand mom by a explain which “he does wrong things as great as buys wrong equipments.”

 

Some arrange of smart trade guys detected such peculiarities of Homulus saphienus audiophilius humane, have upon tip of referred to motorist as great as violence actions professionally with a great pleasure.

 

An interconnect handle which cost was 10 $ is purchased by 200$ in a Homulus saphienus audiophilius human’s universe though nobody likes it. The writer wraps, 1$ value of helmet around, nylon as great as alternative swelling things to enlarge, really required wooden box is combined as great as a same handle is sole to 2.000 $. This handle becomes a anxiety handle of all Homulus saphienus audiophilius benevolent

 

He is determined. He’s never happy with his apparatus buys though keeps up buying.

 

He does not identical to during all if a apparatus is thin, tiny as great as light. He adds a little arrange of feet or height underneath to demeanour bigger, puts a little marble or section upon tip to have it heavy.

 

He buys a greatest loudspeaker available. He even prefers smallest listening rooms, so a speakers demeanour bigger.

 

He purchases a many absolute amplifier though listens during a slightest volume. He calls this headroom. He does not caring spending 100 times some-more income to non used watts rsther than afterwards tangible used up power.

 

He is pious. He believes in dual holly books called Stereophilus as great as Soundus Absolitus. He 100% recognizes a effect of a articles as great as never accepts any critics about them.

 

He purchases apparatus by fluke with a great price. Than surfs upon internet for days to countenance his squeeze as great as to pick up justification which “it was a singular of a many appropriate equipments in a world”. Then he tries to convince others which “he had done review for a prolonged in allege as great as motionless to squeeze it particularly”.

 

Some of their kinds do not identical to receiving risk. These kinds do not certitude in their ears, as a result squeeze a same brands which many of a others use. If he is faced by any critics, samples a others as reference.

 

He collects thousands of CDs though usually listens during a integrate of of his references. Rest of a CD’s have been usually to uncover off.

 

Homulus saphienus audiophilius benevolent infrequently attend during music. But this is in all due to selecting them for a audiophile assembly entrance upon week finish in his house. He picks up a many appropriate annals in advance, symbol them really cleverly via alternative CD’s. Once a listening event comes, he goes to his CD shelve picks up a singular by shift as great as demonstrates his complement to others. The summary is transparent “his complement is able of personification any typical comparison CDs perfectly”.

 

He is lofty. Although he was communicated by email 5 times to experience Hi-Fi Club assembly upon subsequent Wednesday, he does not attend if not called privately by phone.

 

He is introvert. He does not identical to to be together with others so long. He likes to be called regularly as great as he likes to be out of reach. He establishes a singular of a greatest Hi-Fi clubs in a universe in Istanbul, achieves to 160 members though twenty-five of them might came together in a grave assembly during maximum.

 

Homulus saphienus audiophilius benevolent does not attend to live acoustic concerts. He is unapproachable of his hermit who performs percussion. He believes which he is penetrating upon healthy sounds due to his brother. If he infrequently goes to a unison by a giveaway call in ticket, it is many substantially not an acoustic concert. He tries to grasp a same crap receptive to advice during home.

 

Pure Homulus saphienus audiophilius benevolent tries to grasp a many healthy receptive to advice though he doesn’t know what a healthy receptive to advice is. He listens during live acoustic piano from integrate of centimetres though finds a receptive to advice dull. He insists which a genuine piano should have been some-more minute as great as open. If he finds a vast unison piano by shift in somewhere, he puts his conduct inside of a physique as great as EUREKA, this is a piano receptive to advice he was seeking for.

 

He purchases an apparatus to 3.000 $, adds an electric handle costs 3.000 $, adds a height underneath costs 2.000 $, changes a tubes by NOS cost 1.000 $ as great as afterwards listens at.

 

But he is still dissatisfied. After a while, replaces a bizarre inner cables of a unit, sockets, plugs, resistors, capacitors, spends an additional 2.000 $ for that. He sells which apparatus to 1.000 $ 6 months later. That box is steady for years.

 

Not to dont think about here which he booty integrate of equipments due to a actuality upon tip of as great as spends substantial volume of income as great as time to get them fixed.

 

He knows all improved afterwards others. He reads dual magazines, creates integrate of tweaks, as great as afterwards tells in prolonged sentences as if no a singular knows what he is articulate about. He even adds a integrate of physique work, hands, arms, fingers to his articulate to have it some-more attractive. When articulate in excitement, he does not realize which a others watch him in dismayed faces.

 

He mostly does not identical to a receptive to advice of an additional audiphilus’s system. He rught divided accuses a sole member in a hi-fi sequence in annoy he does not know any of a components in a chain. “You will have really great receptive to advice if we shift your CD player ….”

 

He rught divided accuses a complete complement in annoy there was a recording blunder in CD. “Something is wrong with your system; we listened a exaggeration upon which track”

 

He reads a lot though not to sense or to enjoy. His target is to uncover off others how associating he is. He tries not to dont think about during slightest up to a week finish which they will come together with alternative audiphilus’s.

 

If his expressions have been not great regarded by a alternative Homulus saphienus audiophilius humane, he does not disagree during all. He references such, such web sites … my friend, we should review …. Web site initial of all as great as after should dance with me

 

When starting to alternative Homulus saphienus audiophilius benevolent for listening sessions, he takes his anxiety CD’s with him. He listens during them limit for dual mins as great as expresses with a bizarre seeking face which “I listened what should we hear, we might spin your complement off as great as we can chat”

 

If he was invited for a listening session, he pretends not concentrating a owner’s system. However, we can have certain which he was comparing a receptive to advice with his own system. He does not systematise his thoughts if he likes a sound.

 

If a complement sounds good, he rejects alternative song offering by a owner. He tries to approach a listening event to a chatting event by asking to a chairman sitting subsequent to him, …. How does your complement commercial operation starting my friend, any apparatus changes!

 

If he does not find a receptive to advice identical to his system, he interrupts a listening session, volume is get down as great as a tweaks, recommendations have been blustered divided with alternative Homulus saphienus audiophilius humans in chorus. Sometimes he is such unfortunate which does not commend 5 hours upheld identical to that. He unexpected abandons upon call of his wife.

 

He purchases a latest orator by spending all of his money; he thinks which it was a great purchase. He calls alternative Homulus saphienus audiophilius humans to uncover how great they have been sounding! At a finish of a day, he is such a unhappy as great as formulation to sell his orator by half price. These exchange have been called giving shit in Homulus saphienus audiophilius human’s world. Giving shit is maximised during a automobile play ground or in a night by write trade of invitees.

 

He is consistent. He purchases equipment. After a month looses his unrestrained unnecessarily, sells it to half price. He runs down a apparatus to anybody together with his grand mother. After 6 months, he listens during a same apparatus in somewhere else though likes a sound; he purchases it again by observant “his complaint was in somewhere else”.

 

Above referred to movements start multiform times; in a future he creates his final preference which this apparatus is not good.

 

If he decides to sell his equipment, he takes it with him to a crony for his own contrast purposes. If a fish is in a hook, he sells a apparatus involuntarily due not to dissapoint his many appropriate crony

 

A kind of Homulus saphienus audiophilius benevolent likes wherever he listens during to as great as sells his complement to it’s half cost subsequent day.

 

Another kind of Homulus saphienus audiophilius benevolent does not identical to wherever he listens during to. He creates all to have a complement owners sells his complement to a half cost upon a subsequent day. Such kinds infrequently feel cut of demur due to their blames which they would go to ruin a singular day as great as attend walkman in there.

 

He purchases an interconnect cost 3.000 $, tells to his mom which he paid usually thirty $ to it. His mom thinks “giving thirty $ to such a shit is idiocy. He even does not attend to his crony who is in structure a whole commercial operation regularly says “the cabling of complete structure of fifteen floors cost reduction afterwards 3.000 $ to his structure a whole company”

 

If a has a vast audiophile companion, a handle squeeze might final for limit 6 months. He will embrace full recommendations from everyone which “why he shouldn’t operate which cable”. Eventually it is for certain which a handle will be sole to half of shopping price. Due to which fact, it is a vast event to follow up a handle purchases of such kind of Homulus saphienus audiophilius humans. You might squeeze a usually burnt in code latest handle by which arise to half price.

 

He goes to someone for listening event though does not identical to a sound. He goes behind home as great as does not identical to a receptive to advice either. He became mad as great as starts popping in to hi-end shops quietly. If a integrate of Homulus saphienus audiophilius popped in to a emporium together, it is for certain which they usually came for chatting. But if a singular Homulus saphienus audiophilius tellurian popped in prior to noon time, it is for certain which a event of latest violence movement is coming.

 

He likes a behind side of components rsther than a front faces. When he pays we a visit, he rught divided looks during a behind side of a equipments if a connectors have been WBT, Watt Agates etc, etc.

He spends years as great as in a future creates an glorious complement though listens during drum solos, cymbals, garage doorway noise, spit, etc rsther than afterwards music.

 

Recording companies embody such stupid noises as creaks, squeaks, sleet noises, automobile noises to a credentials of a annals to have a Homulus saphienus audiophilius humans happy. Such CD’s became so renouned inside of which universe as great as all a systems have been tested by these annals such as Jazz during a Pawn Shop.

Another kind spends happening to mix a undiluted complement though purchases robbery copied CD’s in sequence not to compensate fifteen $ to a CD.

 

Homulus saphienus audiophilius male is really destroyed creature. Measures should be taken by a authorities to keep up their generation. This minute should be recognized as a notice minute to a authorities.

 

August 2003

Ozhan Atalay President www.nonamehifi.com

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